what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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