Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize