she was so not down for the gang bang
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
