She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
