i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
