upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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