i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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