This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
