Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
