I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
