Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
