someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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