There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize