oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
