i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
