i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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