I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
