it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
