I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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