can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
