guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
