Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
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I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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