I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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