Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
