so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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