woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
