We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
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Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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