I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
