I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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