I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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