K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
