i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
