At least make sure they are 18
Why
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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