you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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