turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
