I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
