Did you just see the Batmobile???
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
