Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
