What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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