Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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