i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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