omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You pole danced in your parka.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
