i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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