who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
