i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
