Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize