i think my tv is drunk
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
