perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Randomize
