i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
there is puke in my bra ... again
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