This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
