I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
