you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
