is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
