totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
