i may or may not be watching the land before time
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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