Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
