vagina is talking i cant
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
